Well Easter has been fabulous weather here in P town. Incredible really. I'm off to work today and the sun is still shining, it's like summer but it's not supposed to be. Crazy
Crazy good as I had a wedding yesterday to go to and the weather was perfect. I tried out my lens that I got with my camera yonks ago but have never tried. It is a long one so i could sit in the pew and get up close and personal! Love that! I'm going to enjoy trying that new puppy out a lot more in future.
I was too embarrassed to get another to take a photo of me so I tried at home, 11pm last night, to get a shot of what my dress looked like with my hot blue shoes and matching feather earrings and bangle. Yeah didn't do so well at capturing it on my clever phone but you kind of get the gist!
Easter was an interesting weekend. I had such fun with a few dear friends and the girls.
We did an Easter egg hunt down the river-way and funny thing - one of the kids looked in a bush and a bunny bounced out. We had 7 kids on bikes and scooters and the 4 mums walking. Bliss.
We followed that with a roast dinner and then an easter service @ church.
Saturday came and we went to a friends to do some hanging out time, walked into town with some friends to grab coffee and then i said bye to my babes till Thurs.
They went to D till yesterday and ma has them till Thurs. Carols is thinking of taking them on the train to Wellington, up the cable car etc. What a cool lady.
Sunday was a bit of a hard one, hence the word interesting.
For me, Easter or any public holiday, is about family.
But mine got stolen away.
I was on my own.
No family, not even a friend.
I had a friend who was going to do something with me and then she pulled the pin. That is fine and very understandable but when I have a plan it seems to help me feel secure. Being ditched can often make one feel more alone, heighten it I guess.
So after church, I was 1. Normally I"m a bit of a crowd attractor and the instigator of many a fun thing. Not this day!
I watched families go off for their Sunday lunch plans and I had none.
So I had a moment with my journal recognizing my feelings of abandonment and I remembered that my prayer had been for this year - enlargement. Bigger family.
Since Dad dying and the sperm donor leaving, I've felt this incredible shrinking effect.
I don't want us to become smaller. There is something in me that desires a bigger family (even though i don't want anymore kids via my uterus). I was reading in my journal thing about a prophecy that someone had given 2 months ago. An exact wording from my own heart prayer - from Isaiah 54 about enlargement. They used the words enlarging of my family.
That was encouraging for that moment on that day.
I recall the times of celebration on public days off - friends round, bbq's etc. My heart pined for that on Sunday, my heart was angry towards the s donor for taking part of that away especially the history of it and the continued making of that history. My heart is definitely OK as it was just a day, and it's a layering of who I am now that I keep needing to bring to the light.
One last photo of my babes to leave a smile on both yours and my faces. Love u sez, lets chat soon. xx
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