Oh so cute that wee poppet!
Yeah this has changed, so don't get freaked out, it's a bit weird but we will get familiar!!
I understand that weather can do that for sure. The weather is mightily crazy at present, it's flipping amazing over here and it should be cold and for you i'm thinking it should be nice but it's not! sucks!
We had wine tonight, had Kathy and Mark and their family around for dinner, roast lamb, wine and all sorts!  Loved it.  Well done on posting babe, you are super. xx

HI babe
so it looks like the post thing has changed. ohhh all looks rather scary.
just sitting drinking a glass of wine while watching some football...... enjoying the wine more than the football i must say. got the sniffles a bit..... bloody hate this crappy weather we are having... i def think I suffer from SAD, you know when you get down from the shitty weather? I am a much nicer person in the sun! ha that is so bad aye?
ok ok lets tr attach some random photos, these were from when i went to paris for ashers birthday

he is so sos sosososososo cute aye?

delicious little baby!

ok will post this then write again aer chatting with the parentals

Look @ me Aunty S .....

Coming to London for fitting help is a grand idea, thinks Olivia.

Great sharing this story with you the other day, funny times xx

what's been happening in our neck of the woods!

Woods, that's not where we live but there is always stuff happening!
Like how I have these things coming up:
30th party tomorrow night (me helping theme), ma here, preaching meeting this week followed by
40th party on Sat with me helping all day with my lovely friend Shelley. Bonus.
50th the next weekend - in Napier - exciting! No theming here or help - i'm hopeful.
Preaching on 13th May, on pride.  Somewhere amidst these events I have to find time to prep for this.
1st June - wedding for Hannah with a proposed hens do the weekend before. Prob need to find the girls a fancy schmancy dress to wear to that.
Retreat for work next week, lots of work on for work, no rest for the wicked!


Me not coping with change very well, just been recognizing that control-freak thing in me, has a lot to cope with in the next few weeks.  I have noted that of recent months, I have been getting really really good at boundary control, e.g. not saying yes to loads of people and being quite strict on myself.  Well done me.  I have also been thinking about how to go about starting to write my book and how to reconcile my singleness with my journey of faith.  Indeed some great things to think about.


Have come to a good wee thought I feel.  That verse about trusting God with all my heart has been popping up along with Pslm 37:4 re the delighting ourselves in the Lord.  Questions I'm asking myself - can I trust Him,  with Him knowing the type of crazy chicken that I am, to care for me in my current state and that he has great plans for my future?  I am having to think - does he know that I'm a scardy, nervous cat when it comes to even contemplating going on a date with a respective male? 
I'm thinking that I like that, the knowledge (and the building of trust) that He is and that He knows and that He is all OK with this part of my humanness (even though I may not).  This could prob have some holes in it (my new thoughts) but it's a real choice to have to keep handing it over to him, trusting his loving kindness. And I def feel quite comfy in that too.  Interesting. That's this week anyway!!


A few questions for you:
How is your heart (emotions and all) with the sale of the house? I heard through bec who had Rach tell her.  Small worlds!  Been thinking of you guys, hope you're feeling settled in all that that represents. 
Have you been doing any running?
I managed a few sessions and after I've got over some asthma I'm aiming to get back into it again.  Walking fast for 5 min then trying slow jogging, doing OK!! 


My GP told me that I shouldn't be having muesli (this great gluten free stuff i've been eating, with loads of sugar) and that really I shouldn't be eating anything with sugar. Heck he should hear the worse things I'm eating besides muesli!  I have been thinking a lot about that. This week i thought it would be a good idea to not eat any dessert type stuff or chic etc.  I started well, got to 3pm and had something. Man it's harder than i thought. 


I think the biggest things for me over this last few weeks have been the realization that my precious single friend is going to be a double friend and that, in some crazy way, it feels like she's leaving me.  
The other side of this whole marriage thing (which is wonderful for my friend by the way), is that it has kept changing (details of where it will be etc) and that I've realized I need time to get used to change (and that i don't cope so well with it even though i may think I'm faking it OK!).
So the last few weeks have been hard, i've felt like the feelings I've had (mostly annoyance at the expectation on me to have to organize a whole lot of things) which have made me feel like a bi-arch, are actually probably OK.  BUT i need to do something with those, pray or something good like that.


That is a whole lot of blah, with some q's for you in the middle. The girls of my life are doing fabulously well, school is back and they are settling in well.  One girl told Liv how babies were made so she had some convo's about that today using the 's' word.  Not much is given away and she seems happy answering her own q's.  We shall see how long that lasts.  K is more like me every day, wonderful at engaging with adults with questions of interest.  She also needs time to refuel as she can only keep that up for so long, like me.  Nice to refuel.
How do you refuel when study and work and life are full-on?!  I guess going to Italy is one idea!

my fav of all flowers, the hydranga.  I pay $3 and get the joy of one of these for a few weeks.  I have some growing but they aren't in season at my place yet!! 

I still need to write to Gill and J barron thanking them for the printer and for letting us stay in Jan, ahhhhhhhh naughty me. We also have a thank you card from liv to send to you guys for birthday love.  sorry, bad us. 


Love you - oh one more q:  have you heard of the supper club thing in London?  Like an underground eating thing?!  I'm hoping to get a cool book produced by someone in london that does it. apparently a wonderful read and beautifully presented.
love love, xx 

Ponderings xx

Hey again, quick one here:
A few things I've been thinking about - Lent! did you do it  when you were a kid/growing up in the Catholic church?  What did it mean to you or how would you describe it if someone was asking what the heck it was?  
Lastly, forgot to write this on the last most recent post.  Seriously considering coming to Londo for Chrissy if that suited with you guys.  Just me, thinking the girls could have a week with d and maybe a week with ma.  Lets talk about the pros and cons of that wee idea.
Over and out xx

Easter twenty 12

Hello again.
Well Easter has been fabulous weather here in P town.  Incredible really. I'm off to work today and the sun is still shining, it's like summer but it's not supposed to be.  Crazy
Crazy good as I had a wedding yesterday to go to and the weather was perfect. I tried out my lens that I got with my camera yonks ago but have never tried. It is a long one so i could sit in the pew and get up close and personal! Love that!  I'm going to enjoy trying that new puppy out a lot more in future.

I was too embarrassed to get another to take a photo of me so I tried at home, 11pm last night, to get a shot of what my dress looked like with  my hot blue shoes and matching feather earrings and bangle.  Yeah didn't do so well at capturing it on my clever phone but you kind of get the gist!

Easter was an interesting weekend. I had such fun with a few dear friends and the girls.

We did an Easter egg hunt down the river-way and funny thing - one of the kids looked in a bush and a bunny bounced out.  We had 7 kids on bikes and scooters and the 4 mums walking.  Bliss.

We followed that with a roast dinner and then an easter service @ church. 

Saturday came and we went to a friends to do some hanging out time, walked into town with some friends to grab coffee and then i said bye to my babes till Thurs. 

They went to D till yesterday and ma has them till Thurs. Carols is thinking of taking them on the train to Wellington, up the cable car etc. What a cool lady.

Sunday was a bit of a hard one, hence the word interesting.

For me, Easter or any public holiday, is about family.

But mine got stolen away.

I was on my own.  

No family, not even a friend.

I had a friend who was going to do something with me and then she pulled the pin. That is fine and very understandable but when I have a plan it seems to help me feel secure. Being ditched can often make one feel more alone, heighten it I guess.

So after church, I was 1. Normally I"m a bit of a crowd attractor and the instigator of many a fun thing. Not this day!

I watched families go off for their Sunday lunch plans and I had none.

So I had a moment with my journal recognizing my feelings of abandonment and I remembered that my prayer had been for this year - enlargement. Bigger family.

Since Dad dying and the sperm donor leaving, I've felt this incredible shrinking effect.

I don't want us to become smaller. There is something in me that desires a bigger family (even though i don't want anymore kids via my uterus). I was reading in my journal thing about a prophecy that someone had given 2 months ago. An exact wording from my own heart prayer - from Isaiah 54 about enlargement. They used the words enlarging of my family.

That was encouraging for that moment on that day.

I recall the times of celebration on public days off - friends round, bbq's etc.  My heart pined for that on Sunday, my heart was angry towards the s donor for taking part of that away especially the history of it and the continued making of that history. My heart is definitely OK as it was just a day, and it's a layering of who I am now that I keep needing to bring to the light.

One last photo of my babes to leave a smile on both yours and my faces.  Love u sez, lets chat soon. xx

Muddy things

Dear Sezzo


I got a new phone cover today - a Kath Kidson one with a london bus, the big ben and the London Eye, it's so flipping cute. Hannah got it in America for me as she thought I'd love it!  Ahhhhhhh so lovely.


Felt like I haven't been in contact for ages, would love to chat over Easter.  I have a wedding on Monday and went today to get a black dress. I have tried to get into colors but to be honest, BLACK is my best friend. It is a fabulous dress, you would love it and def could borrow it for any occasion. It is a wrap dress which I'm always hesitant as can make my hooters look more massive than they are but it works like a dream and i'm flipping excited. So selfish - constantly get excited about clothes etc!! 


Anyway onto more important things: Here are some photos from the camp that K and I went on - look at me and my outfit for the mud run.  Yes that is me diving into the mud, trying to get fully into it! 

The team of parents i went with, cool people!

Yip it's like you see - me diving into the mud, Matt will be pleased to know I closed my mouth, i thought about it before I dived which is new for me - to think about the consequences.  The thought of the mud-run freaked me out honestly.  BUT mum getting me a flipping ugly dress from the Op shop and wearing lipstick and a shower-cap, seemed to really help.  This was such a fun dive, i laughed a lot at myself!

K at the end of the waterside!

This is me after going on the water-slide - so flipping dirty!  It was a dirty dirty camp, i was so out of my comfort zone but had a wonderful time. 

Another thing that is so great in our family:  Liv is reading her ramona and beeeeeezus books so well and loving them!  K has just started reading "My family and other animals" and she keeps interrupting me by quoting wonderful passages of language from the book. She is in love with the writing!  So love that.  She especially likes it how he swears and says "bloody" and "sonofabich" which she has worked out what it says!  

Lots more to say, I"ll write again this week.

Love you. so much, sez xx