i'm alive!

Hey babe
sorry there has been no news from us via the www lately. I am popping in to write a quick hello to say I love you and I have photos and things to show and share.
Alas however, we are off to camp on Wed and I"m working full days to get there plus packing and generally stressing out, of course!  So not much time to write a decent letter to you - how annoyed i am!
Funny thing re the books arriving. we really had prayed that they would and then they arrive with those hilarious other body moving books.  Did you get the pic's i sent?  
I'm off my phone data at the mo as I've overspent on it and they will charge me heaps. But back on Thurs so whoop whoop.  Going to Whanganui for school camp, it's like going back to real life fun times i'm sure - i have to flipping do a mud run. ahhhhhh not looking forward to it at all but have a silly dress to wear and some lipstick should help make it more fun?!
Love u beautiful one.  I really am hopeful you are feeling better with your tail bone.  love always, sez

Hey Sezzo

Here is a shot from the other day with a wee celebration we had with Grandma for her early birthday!

I made this plum meringue thingy the other day, in my cute enamel dishes (from the Op shop $3!).

Liv was most keen to eat the meringue but suffered through the plums which were tart compared to the sugary top-covered sponge.

I love this shot - it reminds me of how K persevered at something! The dental nurse gave k the funny glasses to help prep her for her tooth extraction.  

She then added this wee crystal to her mouth to numb the gums but sadly as the nurse was about to put the whopper injection in, Kaiya anticipated great pain and left the building!

It was a bit of a shock, i kind of nervously laughed as I thought, "oh flip" and i decided to give her a few minutes to settle down. She sat in the waiting room for two minutes, crying her wee heart out.  

Somehow I managed to coax her into it. Explaining the consequences of her not having it done seemed to help a little.  So proud. She went back to the very thing she feared and discovered it wasn't nearly as bad as she'd thought!  Funny how that is!

Here is a bit of our Christmas day - just felt like i needed to show you.

It was a scorcher.  Nearly died of the heat exhaustion whilst cooking a lamb.

We had mushy peas, curried vegetables, roast veges, and lamb!

I was a bit of a disorganisational nightmare in the kitchen that day as everything came out hot at different times but it was wonderful despite.

K came to the table with her pretty new christmas dress on and Liv came in her togs and towel.

There were a few chrissy crackers (which are always a letdown in the prize department) and there were

christmas carols (much to my delight). 

I had set the table with some new napkins and photocopied scores of christmas carols (of which the girls said "what are these for?").

We even had the next door neighbor over that evening, before we watched some more Dexter!  Ah life.  Loved that whole Dec/Jan season of seeing you guys. Bliss xx

So at present for me:

I'm re-watching the Wire, absolutely loving it!

It could easily take over if I'm not careful.

My besti mate has gone to America to be with the man she met via the computer.

I will miss her over the next three weeks.  But I have to get used to it I'm thinking as she will be off forever at the end of the year ....... sob sob

D has bought a house.  Girls told me. two rooms, Waikanae, somewhere near the forest - I'm guessing over the tracks.  

I prayed at the beginning of the year about some words starting with H.  I had three things but couldn't make employment fit into an H word. 

Got the job - an extra day per week, so stoked!

The other two were starting with H - not Hollywood, Hotel hunting, Holidays to America (even though that will happen for surely in Sep!).

Yip, desperate times call for desperate prayers - Husband and House.

For some reason I have been keen to be part of the house owners brigade in order to feel like I'm part of the other normal peoples club, people who are married, who have jobs and who have investments like houses.

I'm not gutted d has one. it's good for him for sure. Just wish I had one.

Perhaps that will happen with the other H word.  

Not desperate about that either - want to be much better or much more secure in trusting God as my source.  

Best go, gotta watch some more of the Wire. 

Love you, love writing love letters to you!

God bless you and your week, hoping for things to go well despite your sore body, praying that you feel much better this week and that sleep is working!  Love always, love to mattchew, sea xx

Clever Sez

Hi babe,

so totally in love with the fact you have written.

pictures are amazing - the one with the house slightly hidden in the snow reminds me of a movie or tv series when i was a kid - another family that was from a far away land where wolves came etc.

Mum is here this week so it's been real good, told her you had broken some ribs (not how i knew though!). We hope you are feeling much better. It was a great story to tell actually as Kaiya had just had a tooth extracted and it had been a huge palava, she had walked out of the dentist surgery when the nurse was about to put the anesthetic injection, bawling her eyes out.  ah what to do!  Ended up coming back with me, calmly and she had it extracted perfectly.  Phew, she got to see what it was like persevering through some pain. we all thought you must have really been suffering so it was good for Kaiya to know that there could be worse pain in life!!

I heard mum told matt about Liv and Kaiya doing so well in swimming. I told her that actually they weren't that good at all but then i watched liv swim today in the swimming sports. She is actually quite good, a great improvement, one of which I knew her aunty and uncle would be proud.  I think she came second in her length race. whippieeeeee!

This week has felt rather busy, so great having mum here to help. I've got my third night meeting tomorrow night, hoping it might get cancelled.  It has felt like ahhhhh, but you gt that every now and then.

I'm heaidng to K's school camp in a few weeks, pretty excited actually. have to get time off work even!!

I have got to week 6 with the running thing and realized I actually hate it.  Finding it pretty hard, not very sporty still!   I think I might go for a mixture of walking and running still but make it shorter bursts so it doesn't take as much time!  I understand how you are feeling re exercise and weight. It's hard stuff.  

Be gentle on yourself my friend.  Time will pass quickly I hope and you'll be feeling much better. How sucky though, fully feeling sorry for you!

This photo is from our excursion to the skate park 2 weeks ago - sadly it was raining but much fun was had!  Mum and I sat in the car after we'd watching dutifully for a few minutes.  Girls didn't seem to mind the rain.

Some quotes I'm loving:

No matter where you go, there you are (you take bitterness with you, until you face the condition of your heart, you'll remain unhappy)

That's what you did, but that's not who you are (i like this for talking with the girls .....  might use it sometime!)

fights (another one for the girls)

It only takes one to stop a fight, refusing to fight back diffuses the negative energy eventually!  The only way to live like this is to embrace humility and lay down the right to hurt the one who is hurting you. 

 Have you put expectations on people to be your source of joy and happiness?  If so write out your intention to make God your primary source and others only as contributors (what a challenge!) 

As soon as we put expectation on any person to be our source - spouse, parents, children, friends or spiritual leader - we are in a form of dysfunction where we develop co-dependent relationships.  No matter how perfect the relationship begins, there will always be places of disappointment. (God must be your source)

Some of those quotes are so challenging to me at present. I'm mulling over them. Hope you find them slightly inspiring?!

It may not look pretty on the line, but this little girl is growing up and therefore must begin some more responsibilities - helping with the washing (much to her disappointment).  We're starting small but we're starting, with high heels of course!!

Last Sunday was an interesting one - I agreed to pick the girls up from Pram to help the Dad with his soccer obsession.  Turns out I need to pick them up from the church family picnic - meet the whole of the Dad's church, turn up as the 'absent' parent!

Truthfully I quite enjoyed it - I rocked up in my coolest gears, high heels, new handbag.  Girls were stoked to see me which always helps and I was the friendliest lady of all!  I had dreaded it slightly, the pastors had been 'our' friends before the incident. They were friendly, cuddles and everything! I talked with the wife a little of how we were doing now, she felt like it had been only last year that d left and was still processing through it. That was good to hear, I suggested getting in contact (if they wanted to do some research) despite the time gone by but I get the sense that won't be happening!  So often in this crazy journey of the past 4 years, I've just been reminded to let go, none of my business, all that jazz.  You definitely feel lighter not knowing the business of others!  Wondering though, has he contacted you yet?  See, I still have the things i need to know!!  I caught up with Bp the other day, he always likes to talk about that stuff so I helped remind him in a polite way that it was freeing giving that to God and not worrying. Time to move on for those that find it hard, leaving it to the One who makes a way where there often seems no way.

I'm reading an awesome book - it's by Audrey Meisner - like yourself, love your life.  I'm reading it because I'd heard a bit of her testimony and it is a goodi. Picture-perfect marriage, an affair and unexpected pregnancy (different colored baby so no hiding that!).  I'm enjoying it, it's a bit repetitive but there are gems to hold onto (quotes are from this bk).

Anyway, that's a whole lot of nothing probably, i actually write some notes sometimes on my iPhone, so i can remember what i thought would be cool to talk about or show you.  Love doing this with you, you are so great Sez, thanks for sharing the love!  How was Paris?  

Chris (friend you met in Auckland) is arriving in London tomorrow, he may give you or matty a call to touch base.  Hope that's ok, love you!! xx

hey my first ever blog

hey sezzy
know it has taken a long time to finally get this u and running. I just want to be abe to do it from my iphone as then I could write these easily on my travels... hmm maybe I could do some interweb research to see how to do that.
ohhh I feel so excited writing this... almost sneaky, like I'm doing a cheeky thing!
loved the blogs yo have written... thanks so much! you do actually rock my world!
Austria was awesome! I will endevor to upload some photos for you to see, remembering that I will be slightly special needs to start with.
so i fractured a couple of ribs.... yep on about day three of my trip. did continue with the holiday... but as a bit of a nana. I did think that I had hurt myself but did't want to miss out on the fun. I felt a combo of painkilllers and Jagermeister (an austrain snapps type drink) were key to keeping me going! only on the return to London did I think I really should get ikt looked at. so headed with my work ID badge to A&E. the result went a little like this...Yes they are broken, NO there is nothing we can do for you, YES we can give you some very strong painkillers, NO you will not be able to do much for the next six weeks...... AWESOME! so I started taking the codeine.... then I felt totally smashed..... not that I have very done any drugs at all BUT I am assuming that is what it feels like.... why cooler than being drunk, probably not so safe at work with sharp knives and important patient specimens.... but hey I will survive!
so feeling very fat at the mo and now with my painful ribs I can't go to the gym so am spiralling into feeling like like a fat blob........ ir sucks! i want to take a pill to make me skinny! hopefully it is just a phase.... hmmmm am just rambling....
ok now tr to upload some photos... freaky

me and Emma in the gondola

me on my board

This was a few of us girls on skiing trip- this is abt 6pm in the evening.... felt like midnight!

me and the girls dancing on the table.... its what you do in Austria up the mountain

ok so one ..... now to post. I keep thinking its all goingto go bad... so here goes!

love you!